{"id":61,"date":"2010-06-24T12:10:34","date_gmt":"2010-06-24T19:10:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.fizzahraza.com\/wordpress\/?p=61"},"modified":"2012-08-09T11:43:37","modified_gmt":"2012-08-09T18:43:37","slug":"skip%e2%80%99s-summer-school-%e2%80%93-why-i-want-to-go","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fizzahraza.com\/blog\/2010\/06\/24\/skip%e2%80%99s-summer-school-%e2%80%93-why-i-want-to-go\/","title":{"rendered":"Skip\u2019s Summer School \u2013 Why I Want to Go"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cLeap and the net will appear.\u201d<\/strong> This was in a GoingPro<\/a> blog in May. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I\u2019m a planner\u2026I visualize my goal and my destination and then I plan. Okay maybe some of my friends would argue that I over plan. But that\u2019s my nature\u2026I\u2019m dichotomous. I have a strong pull towards all things nerdy and geeky \u2013 libraries, museums, literature, science, math. Seriously, I get geeked in class as we solve a really complex word problem! On the other hand, my life feels empty and dry without something creative fueling me. I like to get my hands dirty\u2026I paint, I make note cards, I write letters, poems and prose\u2026and I try random DIY projects at home (Home Depot loves me). Every once in a while, I like to drift into a world without words and just images\u2026a place that is limited only by my imagination. I\u2019m a dreamer\u2026and I think daydreaming is healthy. But I\u2019m also a planner. I envision my goal and then I write and write and write. I write about my dreams and goals and how I think I can get there. I start creating a route for myself. I write because I know that once things get rough, I need something to bring me back to my dream\u2026to remind me why I started all this in the first place. It\u2019s like my roadmap\u2026every time I feel lost, I come back to what I wrote. And I write every time I feel inspired and motivated\u2026I cherish those moments. But I also write when I\u2019m frustrated and angry and feel like I just can\u2019t make it\u2026when it seems like no one I know understands how desperately I want this to work because so much of this struggle goes beyond pretty pictures on a website. I empty it out onto paper\u2026I clear my thoughts and I let myself breathe. <\/p>\n

Three years ago, things fell into place in a way that allowed me to pursue a lifelong dream. I somehow ended up in Norwalk\u2026a place most people in LA don\u2019t even know about. It moved me even further from work and suddenly I was commuting 20 miles each way. But it brought me closer to taking photography classes. I jumped at the chance and haven\u2019t looked back since. My days were spent hyping middle school kids in South LA on the beauty of math. (Yes, I said the BEAUTY of math!). Exhausted, I would drive almost 30 miles to evening photography classes twice a week. And suddenly I felt that spark and I fell into a daydream. I thought about dreams I hadn\u2019t visited since I was a kid. Neurons were firing and my heart was racing and when I felt like I couldn\u2019t contain it any longer, I wrote. I planned\u2026I set out a five year and a ten year plan. That was three years ago. Sometimes I feel like I\u2019m behind schedule\u2026but I\u2019m really not. I\u2019m right where I need to be. Last year, I took a leap\u2026and I prayed to God the net would appear. I knew all along that when I started my photography career, I wanted to do it the right way. I would listen to what all the pros say to noobs like me \u2013 get your technical side down, price yourself right, write a business plan, file for a license. So I did – I wrote up a business plan\u2026worked on it every night until 3 or 4am for weeks. I bugged my friends to review my plan, my images, my logo and so on. I am so grateful to all of them for their continued encouragement, support and patience. They have been my biggest promoters since the beginning. In October of 2009, I took the next step and filed for my business license and applied for insurance. I worked and reworked my pricing\u2026scrounged the internet for every crumb of information I could find. In April I started fleshing out my branding and website. I spent my entire vacation from work working. I was sort of moving along\u2026miniscule movements of progress mainly. But something was amiss. I felt like a race car revving my engine but not going anywhere. It was around that time that something amazing just fell into my life. I attended two talks at the Cypress College Photography Expo. The first talk was by Jasmine Star. I walked in thinking it was about marketing but I learned so much more. When she started talking about her journey, I felt nailed to my seat. She talked about the fear and the isolation\u2026about lurking on forums but not participating\u2026about aching to attend workshops and seminars but not being able to work it into the budget\u2026about surfing through amazing online portfolios and feeling inadequate\u2026.and I thought she must be reading my mind. Of course I realize half the room must have felt that. But it was the timing that amazed me\u2026it was like a little message from above. I felt shell shocked and as much as I wanted to rush up to her at the end and gush (oh yeah, no lies, I would have gushed) I felt so overwhelmed, I had to leave. I was literally shaking as I left the room and I just remember thinking I had to find a quiet place. I had to write. This is what I wrote:<\/p>\n

\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tApril 9, 2010<\/p>\n

This is my letter to myself. Here I am sitting in a beautiful sunshine-y spot on the floor just trying to wrap my brain around what\u2019s in my brain. I spent the past hour and a half listening to Jasmine Star<\/a> speak. She told her story and though so much of our stories are not alike \u2013 she spoke as if she was reading my mind and revealing what is in my heart. She talked about struggle<\/strong> and not having any money when she started and about the reality of dreams<\/strong>. She talked about the isolation and fear, the complete paralysis of my own fear, and she talked about jealousy and stewing in your own venom.
\nMore than anything else, she talked about being yourself and being true to yourself. Not trying to be every other photographer \u2013 just being be and being honest about me.
\nSo here I am \u2013 making myself a promise to carve out my own path, Because I know<\/strong> in my heart and soul that I can be successful by being me and I don\u2019t have to follow a recipe. I have never <\/strong>been that girl and I\u2019ve never fit any mold\u2026so why have I been trying to do just that this past year?
\nThis is my wake up call. It\u2019s not worth doing if I can\u2019t be me while doing it. I don\u2019t want your revolution if I can\u2019t dance.<\/em><\/p>\n

Who knew that day would be a double whammy. Right after her talk, I listened as Dane Sanders<\/a> explained how he had arrived in the world of photography. More than that, I felt like I was in an intervention! He asked questions\u2026and answered them\u2026about what really made each of us tick. Once again, I felt like someone was peeking into my innermost thoughts and it was nerve racking. But both of these people unknowingly helped me shift my course. Both unwittingly helped me to overcome a little bit of the fear that was holding me back\u2026fear that was keeping my foot on the brake. <\/p>\n

Life since then hasn\u2019t suddenly taken a miraculous turn. I haven\u2019t booked my first wedding yet\u2026in fact, I haven\u2019t marketed myself yet. But it has nothing to do with fear anymore. Oh I\u2019m still afraid out of my mind that I\u2019m going to fail miserably\u2026but I believe so much more that I will never know unless I try. The difference is, I am no longer afraid to put myself out there and try. What has changed is my approach to becoming involved with the photography community. I\u2019ve started responding back on blogs and forums that I follow. I email people whose work I admire and ask for help (check out Ann Montieth<\/a>\u2019s response to my questions about pricing in the \u201cAsk the Experts\u201d section of Professional Photographer<\/a>). I have put my work out there a little more\u2026competitions and exhibits. I met with a potential client for the first time and though I didn\u2019t book the wedding, it was a great first meeting. After that meeting, I felt even more confident about my work and my pricing. <\/p>\n

For months now, I\u2019ve visited the section on MEI about Skip\u2019s Summer School trying to calculate and re-calculate my teachers\u2019 budget so I can fit in such an amazing opportunity. It lands during the first summer break I\u2019ve had in seven years (our school is moving from a year round schedule to traditional summer). Even more importantly, I\u2019ve taken the first steps of starting a photography business and I need all the help I can get. So the timing is perfect in so many ways. If only\u2026<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve come this far in my story, thank you. I couldn\u2019t tell you why I so badly want to attend Skip\u2019s Summer School<\/a> without telling you who I am and where I am. This is me, and I\u2019m taking the leap\u2026and I\u2019m hoping the scholarship will be part of my net. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cLeap and the net will appear.\u201d This was in a GoingPro<\/a> blog in May. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I\u2019m a planner\u2026I visualize my goal and my destination and then I plan. Okay maybe some of my friends would argue that I over plan. But that\u2019s my nature\u2026I\u2019m dichotomous. I have a strong pull towards all things nerdy and geeky \u2013 libraries, museums, literature, science, math. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[198],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-61","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nashville-beauty-makeover-portrait"],"yoast_head":"\nSkip\u2019s Summer School \u2013 Why I Want to Go - Fizzah Raza Photography<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fizzahraza.com\/blog\/2010\/06\/24\/skip\u2019s-summer-school-\u2013-why-i-want-to-go\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Skip\u2019s Summer School \u2013 Why I Want to Go - Fizzah Raza Photography\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cLeap and the net will appear.\u201d This was in a GoingPro blog in May. 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