MIA No More

“Your blog is your unedited version of yourself..” -Lorelle

“Blogging is an art, same as any other method of self expression. Some are better at it than others.” -Hugh McLeod

I struggle to blog consistently. I know it. I didn’t understand why at first because I actually write a lot and pretty consistently. I naturally tend to write my thoughts out. I find journaling so clarifying …it not only empties my mind of the clutter of millions of thoughts running into each other, it also helps me to step away and look at my own thoughts and grow as a person. I’ve had full on life epiphanies and aha! moments through writing or through seeing patterns in my writing. I think what really helps in that process is knowing no one else will read what I write, I can be completely open, uninhibited and uncensored in what I write. It is such a liberating experience and I often feel really relaxed afterwards. And there is just something about the feel of pen to paper. I feel so fluid in my writing when I have a pen and paper but the minute I start typing out my thoughts, I feel a wall come up. Okay, wall is too dramatic…I feel a road bump. I once tried an online journal (totally inspired by reruns of Doogie Howser :)) but it just didn’t feel the same. I’m just old school like that with some things. I still write and love to receive hand written letters :O

On the other hand, I feel stressed just thinking about writing on my blog. I think part of it is that element of not having any privacy and that what you write is out there for the whole world to read. And judge. Not that the whole world is reading my blog 🙂 So I find myself feeling like I have to either (a) censor myself but to what extent without diluting what I want to talk about, or (b) make what I write about more interesting because I often feel like what I have to write about is so normal and mundane and that no one would care to read it. Then I realize I read blogs like that all the time and am hooked on them!

Another element in this is about the consistency and not just about writing. It occurred to me that it is just like working out. The people that I know that are the best at working out consistently have told me time and again that they set aside a time that is only for working out. It is reserved time. Everything else has to work around that. I’ve never approached working out like that until recently when Ronnie and I started the Insanity series. Because it had to be after he got home from work, we had a routine down…workout, cook dinner, then hang out and relax. Ronnie recently began train for his upcoming half marathon and I’ve been trying to stick to working out regularly without him. Tough times! He makes working out so much fun and it just isn’t the same without him. I think my main problem is I schedule my workout around everything else instead of scheduling everything else around my workout. That is the same with blogging. To be consistent, I just have to set aside a block of time that is reserved to blog, nothing else.

So I tried something new today…I began my day with a workout, then I showered, ate breakfast and sat down to blog! I kept feeling the urge to work on other things that were on my mind but just kept reminding myself that I had set aside the time to work out and set aside time to blog. I also tried something new to help me bridge the gap between how fluidly I write with pen and paper versus how rigid I feel typing out my thoughts on a blog. Last night as I sat down to read and journal before bed, I decided I would just write my blog post. When I woke up this morning and sat down to blog I didn’t feel that overwhelming sensation as before. I had a post already written and I just tweaked and edited as I went along.

Along with the many recent changes in my life including a new city, being newly married and starting a business, I’ve decided to add a few more changes. For one thing, I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone and plan on blogging at least once a week. I can’t thank Nancy, Ami and Netonya enough for pushing my on this issue and always supporting me. I am a little bit nervous about this but I’m excited as well. I have so many new things going on that I’m excited to talk about. But hey, do me a favor – be patient with me 🙂 and if you read any of my upcoming posts, even occasionally, comment and let me know I’m not rambling to myself.

First blog in a series of weekly posts – DONE! 🙂